The Inner Critic: Why Do We Say the Most Hurtful Things to Ourselves?

Last week, I found myself face-to-face with my old friend anxiety.

Thankfully I had my fortnightly counselling session on Tuesday. I sat in the chair, explaining my frustration and bewilderment at why I felt this way. Just as I finished letting it all out, I looked at my therapist to see her smiling kindly at me as she gently asked me why I thought I was feeling this way.

As soon as she said the words, I felt a sucker punch to my gut, a lump in my throat and tears I didn’t realise were so close start to pour down my face. This was all to do with my low self-esteem and fear of rejection, something I have been grappling with for a while now.

As I left the session, she reminded me to try and be kind to myself. But later that day, when I had another little cry in my sanctuary, I realised that being kind to myself is something I find so difficult. My inner critic is truly awful.

We are always told to treat others as we wish to be treated, but what about treating ourselves how we wish to be treated?

On Friday, I woke up feeling exhausted, part of it was from a heavy Wednesday night out with my friend but mostly because I was feeling drained from all the thinking. I didn’t have the energy to take myself out for my morning walk but that mean, inner critic was there waiting for me.