Chaos, Tears, Self-Imposed ‘Shoulds and The Unwelcome Return of Auntie Flo

Last week, I ended my post by saying I was going to start focusing on what I could control. Someone was definitely having a laugh with me that night. I got a grand total of 2 hours and 1 minute of sleep.

At 3:45 a.m., I gave up and went downstairs. I cleaned the kitchen, had a bit of a tidy and then sat with a cup of tea watching Vanderpump Rules, hoping sleep would return.

As much as I wanted to get out for a walk, I knew it would be unlikely, and I had to stop beating myself up about it. I wasn’t being lazy; I was bloody exhausted, and going out for a 3-mile walk wouldn’t help that.

Fortunately, I had no plans to leave the house, so I somehow managed to scrape through the day, and as the evening drew in, I actually had some energy.

The following day, I was up early, and more doctors — this time for an ECG, which the doctor requested because of my blood pressure results. I was meeting my brother for breakfast beforehand and then popping in to see my parents.

My mood was significantly improved, and whilst doing my 750 words that morning, I came to some interesting realisations about how I had been feeling.

This seemingly constant stress I had been under since coming back from my holiday had really taken its toll. Some of the things probably didn’t need to cause me as much stress as they did, but for me, stress seems to have a domino effect, and it can get to…