Back Home to Hormonal Havoc and Riding the Meltdown Merry-Go-Round

Before we leave Tintagel for Padstow we go for breakfast, I really fancied a full English. We find a nice cafe, and order drinks as I eagerly scanned the menu. NO FULL ENGLISH. I actually wanted to cry, my mind went back to my niece’s wedding meltdown, that is exactly what I felt like doing. I begrudgingly adulted and ordered poached eggs on toast.

We walk along the coastline around Tintagel Castle, and as we are taking one last walk through the village my blood test results arrive in my inbox with a note to say there is no cause for concern but the doctor would like to talk to me, so I booked an appointment for Friday morning when I am home.

We spent a relaxing few days in Padstow, walking around the harbour, getting a ferry over to Rock, dipping in and out of the pubs and eating delicious food in Mussel Box and Rick Steins seafood restaurant.

We visit Newquay, wandering around the coastline and admiring the beautiful blue-green waters. We walked past the famous Headlands Hotel, where they filmed the original film The Witches and then we found ourselves at Fistral Beach, packed with surfing fans watching the boardmaster surfers compete. The only issue we had was it just so happened to be flying ant day and they really began to p1ss me off!

We break up our journey home the following day by visiting the Eden project and as we get closer to home, I feel the weight of overwhelm beginning to press down upon me. Lists of things I need to do swirl around my head. When we eventually arrived home around 9:30 p.m., I was exhausted. I climb into bed I have a good cry and hope that I have got it all out of my system.

I wake up early and rather than go back to sleep as I have been for the past week, being at home sends my mind into overdrive. I get up and decide to sit down with a cup of tea. No milk. Doh! The shopping isn’t coming until lunchtime so I have a black tea.

I put the Love Island reunion on but before I knew it, I was crying again. I feel like I am waiting for the impending doom, something bad to happen, I just don’t know what it is but I am crying like the worst has already happened.

When I eventually calm myself down, I have a shower and go off to collect Toby, having a cuddle with him will make me feel better. He is so pleased to see me and I spend the short journey home apologising and telling him of all the cuddles we are…

Clare - This Is Still Me♥️

Join me as I conquer my 40s with humor and honesty. From Marriage to Step-Parenting, Perimenopause to freelancing – I'm spilling it all.