Does Being Alone With The Thoughts In My Head Scare Me That Much?

I won’t lie to you, I haven’t really felt like sitting down to write lately.

It’s been a real mixed bag of a week. On the one hand, I have been super productive, but on the other hand, my anxiety has been through the roof.

The beginning of the week started with a nice dollop of insecurity. I randomly started to question my own likability. Did people actually like me? Or did they just pity me? I worried that I had upset someone, not one particular person, just anyone and everyone.

Did they look at me funny? Are they ignoring my message? Not satisfied with the thought of other people disliking me, I started to join in with the fault finding and began to think of all the reasons people would have to not like me.

Despite feeling this way, I was determined to continue with my week as planned, firstly by going on my morning walks. This was the number one priority as I know this is really good for my mental health and I can thrash out any intrusive thoughts in that hour.

My goal is to get out first thing each day, which is usually between 7 & 7:30 am, however, after a terrible night’s sleep on Sunday night, I got myself up and out of bed at 5:45 am, thinking I would get up early and squeeze more time out of my day.

Halfway through my walk, as I went to turn the corner, I was greeted by what can only be described as a giant…