From Hot Flashes to Cold Hard Truths: My Plan to Escape Midlife Madness
Something happened recently that has never happened to me in my 42 years. I completely forgot about an appointment.
It was Monday morning and my last “day off.” I woke up at 9am after an unusually good sleep and was having a cup of tea, catching up on TOWIE. I picked up my phone and saw that I had a lash appointment booked for 9:30. It was 9:27
I completely freaked out. I knew I had a lash appointment; I remembered thinking the day before that I needed to set my alarm for the morning as I had turned it off. Apparently, I had forgotten to do that as well.
I messaged Zoe, mortified; I was still shocked at what had happened. Fortunately, she was very understanding and rebooked my appointment for Wednesday morning. Despite this, I mentally berated myself for the rest of the day. Not a great start to my final day off, or my week for that matter.
As the evening set in and I’d let out my emotions in a crying session and prepared myself to dive back into the world of work the next day.
My eye started to feel a bit tender, when I looked in the mirror, it was slightly swollen. I put it down to my earlier emotions and went to bed.
The following morning, the eye was a little red and swollen but I went out for a walk, determined to get the working week off to a better start.
I love being out in the morning. It allows me to think clearly about where my head is at. That morning, I wondered why I didn’t feel a sense of accomplishment with everything I had achieved so far.
I get to work from home, work my own hours, and do my dream job. These are all things I have dreamed of. I have achieved a massive goal, so why didn’t I feel the satisfaction I expected? It’s annoying!
Then I realised that perhaps it’s my expectations that are the problem. I expected to feel a certain way, and because I don’t feel that way, I feel like a failure. I certainly did not expect to feel like a failure after achieving one of my life goals.
The topic of being a failure then branched out further. Thanks, brain. I have known for some time that I must make lifestyle changes. I feel like crap physically and mentally when I eat rubbish or drink alcohol, not something that used to happen to me before, or at least not enough for me to notice.