Have I Found a Surprisingly Simple Way to Get a Second Chance in Midlife?
Is menopause really a miracle?
I thought I would take some time to fill you in on my HRT journey, seeing as I have dragged you all through the misery of getting it with me!
It’s been six weeks since I started using Oestrogel and I have now been on two rounds of Utrogestan (progesterone tablets), which I take before bed from the 15th through to the 26th of the month. I have definitely noticed an improvement. I still get the odd day where I don’t feel great, but it’s just a couple of days here and there and I think there are some things I can do to help with this, but more on that later.
Despite this, I haven’t been very easy on myself. I feel like I am not getting as much done as I should be, with the constant thoughts of all the things I “need” to do and creating endless to-do lists in my head. Thanks to therapy, I have cut back on making actual lists on my phone, which caused me so much stress.
One thing I noticed was that I was feeling more sociable. I was seeing friends and making lots of plans with people and enjoying every minute, then as soon as I started taking the tablets, that feeling rapidly disappeared and I wanted to retract all of those plans.
I noticed that the first day after taking them, I was exhausted. I could barely move off of the sofa. The following day, the rage returned and I went to bed feeling concerned. Perhaps it isn’t working? Perhaps it was all a placebo? I felt my emotions begin to snowball. I was panicking at the thought that I had not found the solution to my problems. I was anxious that I would have to go through the whole rigmarole again. I felt depressed because I just wanted to feel normal and of course, there was good old comfortable anger because it’s just not fucking fair!
But the following day, I felt better. I wasn’t feeling like a social butterfly, but I didn’t feel sad and I didn’t feel angry. I felt, “stable” I suppose is the right word, not up, not down, just steady and the tablets were definitely improving my sleep. I later read that this is typical of a woman’s cycle, and the particular phases I was in, so I tracked all my symptoms and decided to prepare myself for the next month, hoping that this would indicate when in the month I would be feeling sociable and when I needed to hunker down with a gigantic bar of chocolate.