It was 9:30 a.m. on a Saturday, and I had just woken up. Wow! And I didn’t want to cry!!!
I grabbed my laptop and sat downstairs with a cup of tea, thankful that we now had milk! I had a productive morning and decided to take a break and see how the husband was feeling.
He wasn’t well and had decided not to take the kids to the football match that day as planned. I had been quite looking forward to having a few hours to myself but never mind, I had a few bits I could be getting on with whilst they watched the game on the TV this afternoon instead.
Unfortunately, my day didn’t go quite as planned and I ended up spending my entire day in bed. The tears I had been so proudly keeping at bay came thick and fast and I found myself feeling deeply depressed.
I felt so exhausted, questioning every thought and feeling I had, was it real? Was it my hormones? Am I tired? Am I being irrational? I felt lost and alone. I realised that there wasn’t much I could do apart from continuing to put one foot in front of the other and try not to fall, I feared that if I fell, I wouldn’t get back up again.
I spent the Sunday feeling drained, I didn’t have the energy to get dressed, let alone leave the house to go out for dinner with the husband and the kids, so I let them go off without me and my black cloud, Why ruin everyone’s day?
Once they were gone and I was alone, I forced myself into the bath. I felt so much better after. I made myself some dinner and sat in front of the TV to watch a film and crossed my fingers that things would now turn around.
On Monday morning I slept through my alarm. I realised the bed was empty beside me so I checked the time, it was 7:30 am where on earth was the husband? I tiptoed downstairs wondering if he had fallen asleep in his chair and was stunned to find him at his desk working, it was rare for him to be up before me.
I snuggled in my chair with a cup of tea, feeling better, I didn’t know why, I didn’t question it, I just wanted to make the most of not being sad. I got myself dressed for the day and managed to get lots done. I started the first draft of a new copywriting project I had initially been anxious about, but as I started doing the work the anxiety disappeared.
I finished work earlier than planned and took myself into the garden to try and finish reading my book. I was so thankful to feel like life…