Trying to keep my head above water

Tuesday 23rd July

Going back to the office today for the first time in over a week. I’m actually glad, being at home on my own all day does me no good.

I make my lunch chicken in a protein bagel with some salad and a protein yoghurt, semi determined to get started, trying to fight that black dog that’s scratching at the door, the only dog I don’t like!

After about an hour in the office I realise why I wanted to be at home, it’s just constant questions emails & meetings. I just can’t get anything done. I feel like screaming, but I know I’m being over sensitive, everything and anything would irritate me today and I know in my current state I’m easily overwhelmed so I just have to push on through, I know it will pass soon enough.

The heat is ridiculous, this really isn’t helping my overheating situation. I have a small fan in my bag as well as water to ease my suffering. The husband waits for me at the station, he drove his car so the air conditioning is welcome.

Once I’m home I sink further down, I can’t be bothered to exercise as planned, can’t even be bothered to feed the birds. I just want to sit and walllow in my self pity. The husbands chattering away as he gets ready to go and play golf. I want to be alone but at the same time I don’t.